I will be out of my office until Monday but I will still be answering emails until then. We leave tonight and I didn’t get all the orders placed so if you have an order in with me…I probably won’t be ordering until next week. Sorry for the delay!
I am leaving you with a few pictures of my kids and something I saw on another photographer’s blog. I started to cry when I read this because I feel the exact same way and often beat myself up for the time my kids are sacrificing so that I can pursue my art and my dream. Shortly after I read this I was feeling pretty guilty about the time I spend on this passion of mine. And then within a week’s time, my son, my daughter and my niece all were pretending to be me…posing people for pictures, making a toy camera out of just about anything, saying “smile” to their brother or sister and I realized that I am a model for them and I hope what they take out of me spending time doing this is that I am doing something I love, that gives other people enjoyment and I’m working really hard at it. Those are not bad qualities to model and I will do my best to continue to model those things for my children and all the other children in my life.
This blog post was written by a photographer by the name of Skye Hardwick.
She wrote:
Balance is the key, I suppose. I hope.
Sometimes I worry in photographing my son. Do I push too much, go too far…when he’d much rather I be “Mommy” rather “Mommy with the camera?”
Why can I not wear both roles so well? Because children demand something out of you that longs to be undivided. At times, thankfully not every time, there is a division there; a vast valley of loyalty as I hold my camera and gaze at him through my viewfinder. Sometimes he longs to be seen not through my lens, but simply by my eyes.
I ask myself…what does a photographer’s child think as they leaf through the heaps of images collected of them through the years? “Look at all these images, my mom must have loved me.” Or “Look at all these images, my mom must have loved photography.”
I never want the importance of him…HIS moments, HIS childhood to be paled in the shadow of MY learning, and MY validation. The rememberance of him lost in the confusion of shutter speeds and f-stops. Never. Doing so would taint my love for photography…so, balance is the key. I do not feel alone …there are millions of other mothers who so desperately seek to find balance between their children and their careers. It is not easy, but completely and utterly worth it.
I want my son to know he was loved, deeply and truly. I want him to know, I always saw him … whether blanketed in grain, in the cool of contrast or with the richness of color … I always saw Him.
